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Hi everyone! My name is Robin and I’m a non-binary individual and I have been attending GIDS for over a year. I came out first as a transgender male in June 2016 and as a bisexual person in May 2016. I only recently changed my gender identity from transgender to non-binary (January 2018).
I already knew of GIDS through other trans and non-binary friends on my social media. Therefore, I messaged them on how to get seen at GIDS, there were answers across the board, but I decided to get a referral through my GP and CAMHS to get seen at GIDS. It took a long time, but it was worth it. I wouldn’t have been in the place I am now if I didn’t ask to be referred.
When I started to feel dysphoric of my body, it got very bad very quickly. It went from a mild to severe hatred of my body and I wanted hormones and surgery to make myself feel less bad about myself. It gradually lessened as I went to GIDS and as I was taking antidepressants prescribed by my psychiatrist. Once I stopped taking my medication, my desire to change every part of my body and myself lessened dramatically. I felt more euphoric than dysphoric some days, and this slowly progressed onto every day. I do have things about myself that I do not like, but I do feel like I’m in a place now where I’m comfortable in my own skin. I changed from wanting everything to basically wanting nothing because I became more one with my body and embracing the fact that I am who I want to be and no-one else can change that.
I would say that things do get better with time and to never give up. I never believed this when I started and therefore I was in an awful state of mind. I gave up on things easily and thought very badly of myself. When things did start to get better, I had hope that things would get better and better each day. If I had known that back then, it would have saved me a lot of stress and grief. I would also say to myself that I should never, ever, be afraid to change their mind. I was extremely scared to as I thought people would have reacted negatively and thought it was ‘just a phase’ rather than a huge step in my journey to become happy with myself.
I think my most surprising experience would be that I came to GIDS wanting everything changed about me, and now starting to get to the end of my GIDS journey not wanting anything changed about me physically. I’m shocked and many others that I’m close to are shocked that I’ve completely changed my outlook on myself and what I want for my future.
I would say to other people that they should never, ever, be afraid to change their mind. I was extremely scared to as I thought people would of reacted negatively and thought it was ‘just a phase’ rather than a huge step in my journey to become happy with myself.